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Can birdnesting help after a divorce?

On Behalf of | Jul 9, 2021 | Divorce |

While readers of our blog may or may not have heard of the term birdnesting, we have discussed what to do with the family home during and after a divorce. Indeed, last week, we did a post on that very topic. And, in that post, we discussed keeping the family home after a divorce. This is birdnesting, and it can help after a divorce.


Essentially, when a couple decides to nest, they keep their family residence intact, but the parents rotate in and out, while the children remain in the family home. The rotating parents can then either maintain separate dwellings or rotate in and out of the same alternative residence.


Birdnesting (or nesting) is the new craze in conscious uncoupling, which seeks to make divorce as painless as possible on not just the departing spouses, but also (and especially) for the kids. Indeed, the fear of traumatizing one’s children can be a reason to get divorce and one to not get a divorce, and birdnesting is one way to lessen the effect of divorce. This is because the only change a child sees are that only one parent is usually around at any given moment. The kids stay at the same school, keep their same friends and they can keep their routine.

Money saving

For those couples that share the family home and one alternative residence and just rotate in and out of both, the cost saving can be significant. This is because all of the new expenses of the new place are shared, along with the expenses from the old place.

Short-term versus long-term

Most experts suggest departing couples only nest for the short-term, usually less than six months. This is because most experts say nesting should be used as a slow transition for the kid’s old life to their new life. In fact, some say that the uncertainty of not knowing what the divorce really means can actually be anxiety-inducing for children, or give the children false hope of reconciliation.

Who is nesting for?

Primarily, it is for departing spouses that are amicably splitting. Birdnesting does not work in a contentious divorce. But, the first step is to call a Sacramento, California attorney.