Coming to terms with the fact that your marriage will not last can cause uncertainty and feelings of hopelessness. Approaching your spouse with the prospect of divorce can be intense and uncomfortable.
Knowing how to begin this conversation may improve your confidence and the outcome of the discussion.
Think about what to say
You know you want a divorce. However, that alone is not enough substance to have a conversation. Psychology Today recommends that you first think through divorce carefully before approaching your spouse with the idea at all. Compile a list of reasons why you feel separation would benefit both parties and how it could provide a solution for ongoing tension.
Arrange a time and place
Use thought when determining when to say something and where. Do not spring the idea on your spouse in an inappropriate setting. Knowing the conversation could go on for some time and could involve disagreements, ask your spouse ahead of time if the two of you can plan on having a conversation. Set aside time to speak in private and when you have plenty of time to have a lengthy discussion.
Prepare for high emotions
Divorce will inevitably surface strong emotions. Preparing for intense conversation and possibly anger might help you stay calmer and in control of your own feelings. If you have safety concerns, take adequate steps to protect yourself prior to bringing anything up. This might include having someone else present during the conversation or seeking a protective order.
Taking some time to prepare for a discussion about divorce could facilitate a more effective conversation.