When co-parenting a young child, consistency and age-appropriate parenting are undeniably important. If your co-parent is treating your child like an adult—whether by oversharing personal issues, expecting mature behavior beyond their developmental stage or placing emotional burdens on them—it can create confusion and anxiety for the child.
While you may not be able to control how your co-parent interacts with your child, there are steps you can take to protect your child’s well-being and respond constructively.
Addressing choices that could harm your child
Young children need structure, clear boundaries and the freedom to be children. When a parent treats them more like a peer or emotional confidant, it may lead the child to feel responsible for problems they can’t understand or fix. This is sometimes referred to as emotional parentification, and over time, it can interfere with healthy emotional development.
If you notice signs that your co-parent is placing adult expectations on your child—such as encouraging them to take sides, asking for advice on adult issues or relying on them for emotional support—you may want to document your concerns. Keep track of specific instances, what your child said and how they seemed to feel afterward. This documentation can be helpful if legal intervention becomes necessary.
It’s also important to create a safe space for your child in your home. Reassure them that it is not their job to solve adult problems and that both parents are responsible for keeping them safe and cared for. Keep your own conversations age-appropriate and avoid discussing custody, finances or conflict with your child.
When possible, try to communicate with your co-parent about your concerns in a respectful and non-confrontational way. Sometimes a parent may not realize the impact of their behavior. A child-focused discussion can lead to healthier boundaries, but if communication breaks down or the behavior escalates, you may need to seek legal guidance, and that’s okay. Sometimes, even if you don’t want to escalate a concern, you may need support to stand up for your child more effectively.
Children deserve the chance to grow up without the weight of adult problems. If your co-parent is putting that burden on your child, you do not have to navigate the situation alone.